So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize