Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
