So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
