Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
