I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
