I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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