he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
