Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
