I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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