i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i out mim tonsoeep
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize