I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
