White coat. Heels.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
