i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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