I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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