I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
