I must be too annoying 4 u.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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