she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
