We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
