i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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