i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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