ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
