i just google imaged poop.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
