Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
