If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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