Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
