i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize