Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
