i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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