Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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