dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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