Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
