All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
