sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
