Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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