I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
