P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
