curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
