Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
