Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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