do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
