Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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