she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
