I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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