look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
