WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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