The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
