i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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