It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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