she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
