There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
