so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
