I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my shit smells like andre
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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