All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
