yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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