ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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