sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
