And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
