we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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