we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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