We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
