do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
