Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
