I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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