no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
kristin has been a bad kristin
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
