windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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