we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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