Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
