haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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