I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize