Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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