once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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