dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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