no, he came in my armpit
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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