So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
